Some wonderful Support

See, that's actually one of my biggest fears. I'll quit, but I'll start again. I'll lose the weight, but gain it all back - and then some. So that's just not going to happen. And in determining that I would not fail - no way in Hell - I found the substitute for the rebellion factor that's kept me lighting up over the past three decades. I was really tempted not to mention quitting in public. I was downright sneaky about the whole thing for the first few days. In fact, I only wrote about it in my blog (thus proving that very few people read the darned thing) - it was eleven days before my husband noticed I'd quit, and two full weeks before my father-in-law figured it out. The kids caught on after about four days.

I did enlist and receive the most wonderful support from my Sparkly "March Moms" (a group of moms and dads with kids my son's age - we've been together on an Internet mailing list for almost twelve years, now, since learning we were pregnant and due in March 1996). One of them took me on a virtual tour of the world - on non-smoking flights to destinations like a gorgeous under-the-sea restaurant or the ICEHOTEL, where smoking would be impossible or disgustingly inappropriate. They quietly congratulated me each day I stayed quit, without once making me feel they'd think less of me or lecture me or preach to me if I didn't. They knew it was that "f*** you!" cig that was the biggest challenge of all to give up - and never once triggered the impulse. I love my March Moms. I love my family, too, but I can't quit smoking for someone else - that whole "If you loved me, you'd..." tactic never worked on me. Mom made very sure of that, before she let me go out on my first date. I'm sure she had no idea I'd use my inner strength of will as an excuse to hang onto bad habits, but I doubt she'd have weakened my resolve to make quitting smoking easier, in any case.